Scotty Scores a Spot at the Monster Games, Debriefs With Jacob Heppner

Featured image: Instagram @jheppner66

On the 1st Phorm Monster Games website, it reads, “Zero spots are given, every invite a conquered task.” 

I decided to take on the online qualifier and, afterward, got a chance to debrief with co-programmer Jacob Heppner.

• The five online qualifier workouts, as well as the live event workouts, were programmed by Jason Ansley and Games veteran Heppner. Their process, Heppner shared, is that Ansley drives the three hours to Heppner’s barn, they get a workout in, order some food, and sit down to map out a plan. 

After getting a rough draft written out on a whiteboard, Ansley heads home, and Heppner gets to work testing the workouts. 

This year, he had Olivia Kerstetter and some Semifinals-level athletes test them out as well to collect more data. The workouts were then tweaked until the final draft was complete, chock-full of unique tests.

• “Jason does a great job. If you’ve ever been to that event before (the 1st Phorm Monster Games), everyone freaking loves him. He’s the freaking man. He cares about the community. It’s always been a pleasure and a blessing to program for those guys,” Heppner tells Morning Chalk Up.

The two make a good team and have a lot of fun together. 

They both added their own ingredients and ended up with a unique slate of tests. Even the names of the workouts are unique. 

As a nod to his friend being a “Swifty,” Ansley also named all of the qualifier workouts after Taylor Swift songs. 

• “That was actually Jason poking fun at me, knowing everyone would think it was me,” Heppner says. 

My Experience in the Online Qualifier 

When registration opened for the qualifiers, my friend sent me a text with his registration details and the words “You in?” 

We have done multiple competitions together, and we are both highly motivated by whatever the next event is. So without much arm-twisting, I decided to throw my hat in the ring, along with 1700 other athletes. 

Below are the qualifier workouts, my experience with them, and some insights from Heppner. 

Workout 1: “Taylor’s Version”

• 4 Rounds For Time:

  • 9 Thrusters, 135/85 pounds

  • 6 Box Jump Overs (no touch) 24/20 inches

  • 3 Burpee Ring Muscle-Ups

7-Minute Time Cap

This was a unique test, with the box jumpovers requiring full clearance of the box and the addition of the burpee to the ring muscle up. The extra effort on the box jumpovers was enough to spike my heart rate and smoke my legs after moderate weight thrusters. Taking away the option of linking the muscle-ups by adding the burpee limited the separation value of that high-skill movement. 

I planned to go unbroken on the thrusters for two rounds, then fall apart on the last two, suffer until the end with jello legs, and barely finish under the cap. 

Nailed it. 

My score: 6:50

Elite top score: 3:55

Workout 2: “Better Than Revenge”

• 5 Rounds For Time:

  • 10 Burpee Shuttle Runs

  • 25 Pull-ups

  • 50-foot Handstand Walk (add 25-feet each round)

20-Minute Time Cap

This was my favorite. 

At first glance, it looked like it was all about the pull-ups, with there being 25 more than Murph (125 total). Knowing that it was going to be a long grind and despite what I thought initially, it came down to the handstand walks. I paced it early and broke the pull-ups into five sets of five with a short rest. 

The shuttle runs were a speed walk until the last round, and having the burpees mixed in made them more enjoyable, in my opinion. I hung on for 22 pull-ups on round five before the buzzer sounded. 

Only three people finished in my division. 

My score: 241 reps at the cap

Elite top score: 13:57

Workout 3: “Shake It Off”

• 5-Minute AMRAP:

  • 5 Devils Press + Dumbbell Front Squat, 50/35-pound DBs

  • 25 Double-Unders

This one was just a short, painful “couplet.” 

The scores ended up very tight, with a lot of ties on the leaderboard. The time it took to do 25 double-unders was approximately the time of two reps of the dumbbell complex. 

It hurt earlier than expected, but it was over quickly. Transitions were very important on such a short workout, so I made sure to step on my rope while attempting to pick it up. I had to shake it off to finish just under five rounds.

My score: 135 reps

Elite top score: 182 reps

Workout 4: “You’re On Your Own Kid”

• 6-Minute AMRAP:

  • 1000/900 Meter Row

  • Max Reps Snatch 205/125 pounds

Rest 1 min, then,

• 4-Minute AMRAP:

  • 500/400 Meter Row

  • Max Reps Clean and Jerks 255/155 pounds

The tiebreak was the time of the 500-meter row, so I had to decide how hard to push the pace. 

Heppner explained afterward that the idea here was to see how well athletes could move a barbell in the 80% range of a one-rep-max after a short time on the rower. 

• These happened to be my one-rep maxes for both of these lifts, so I experienced a slightly different stimulus.  

My goal was to hit each lift once, so I rowed like a sloth on the 1K, knowing I’d have a couple of attempts at the snatch. I missed it. I missed it again. 

Do over!  

I reset the clock, redid my video intro, and got back to work on the leisurely row. I barely missed the snatch again but decided to move on. I rowed a decent tiebreak time and gave myself two attempts on the clean and jerk. 

I hit both, it was as if everything had actually gone to plan, and I reached my original goal of two reps. 

My score: 2 reps

Elite top score: 41 reps (What?!)

Workout 5: “Fearless”

• Part 1: 

  • 80 Double DB Box Step Overs with 50/35-pound dumbbells

*12 min cap

• Part 2:

  • Max Unbroken Toes-to-Bar on minutes 0:00, 3:00, and 6:00

Heppner asked me during our conversation, “Which one would you not want to do again?” 

“The box stepovers were miserable,” I responded.

Jacob laughed, “Dude, I totally agree!” 

• “I should’ve posted, ‘Heads up guys, do not try to do your max toes-to-bar on the first set because your other two will be atrocious,’” Heppner said, throwing his head back, laughing.

He was correct. 

To go for it on one part meant sacrificing from the others. The two fastest times in my division on the step-overs finished outside the top 30 on the toes-to-bar. 

I decided to go with manageable sets, maybe a little too manageable, but I really didn’t want to do that one again.  

My score: 9:53 and 49 Toes-to-Bar

Elite top scores: 4:12 and 100 Toes-to-Bar

The bottom line: Heppner looks forward to the live event this summer and expresses that there are some very unique things coming, and even spectators may find themselves involved in the action. 

• “We always have a blast. I like to pick someone from the crowd and be like, ‘Hey, wanna do the workout?’ (Because everyone has their gear with them.) ‘Go warm up, let’s do a team event.’ We always have a fun time,” Heppner says.

And it doesn’t matter what division you're in; he’ll do them all.  

• “I’ve jumped in so many divisions…Rx women, intermediate men, masters women, elite male,” Heppner says.

How Did I Do?

With the qualifiers completed, and video submissions reviewed, invites have been sent out, and men and women throughout the country are making plans to throw down at the 8th annual Monster Games, July 12-14 at Missouri Southern State University in Joplin, MO. 

They accepted 20 athletes in my division (40-44, Men). I knew I didn’t have my best showing, but I thought there would be a chance. When the deadline hit and the blind leaderboard was revealed, I scrolled to my name. I was tied in points with 20th place but lost the tiebreaker, landing me one spot below the cut line. 

There was a metaphorical ceiling on my fitness in the form of a seafoam green line. Ouch. 

After video reviews, however, I moved up one spot and secured my invite to the 2024 1st Phorm Monster Games! 

The question was then: Do I register for an event where I am the lowest-ranked athlete in my division going in? I answered that question with a question: 

Why not? Time to start training.